


Rose and Roxy's Excellent Witching Adventure

by mericorn



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-01-01
Packaged: 2018-03-04 16:27:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3074399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mericorn/pseuds/mericorn





	Rose and Roxy's Excellent Witching Adventure

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vincentadultman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vincentadultman/gifts).



The wind was sharp and cold and sliced into Roxy’s legs. She should’ve worn leggings today, she supposed. Still, the day had started out so beautifully, crisp, but not cold, with the red and golden leaves of October softly swirling down from the trees, coating the grass in a blanket, kind of like cherry blossoms did in Dirk’s shitty animes. Roxy tried not to think about the wind. It usually worked.

Rose glided next to her. “Are you sure you’re ready to tromp through the swamp and woods?” She gave Roxy a look over. “You look cold.”

“Pshah. This?” Roxy pointed to her legs. “This is nothing. One time I wore shorts and decided to build a snowman. I couldn’t feel the lower half of my body for weeks! But I survived!”

The wind rippled Rose’s bangs. “You wouldn’t have to pretend to be ‘hardcore’ if you wore the traditional wear.” Rose reflexively touched the black and white cameo brooch right below her Peterpan collar. 

“You know, if you really wanted to be traditional, you would be wearing brown rags sewn together with bear fur, emphasizing warmth and comfort way before fashion.” Roxy winked and touched the wide brimmed black hat on her head. “Besides you’re not even wearing the traditional hat.”

Rose stroked her chin and squinted like she was thinking. “You know, I’ve considered it, and mostly concluded that’s complete bullshit.” She kicked her broom with her brown buckled boots and rose higher before slowly descending on Roxy’s other side. “Come on. We have much gathering to do.” Rose’s long skirt billowed out behind her.

"Awwright!" Roxy kicked her legs out and shot down like a bolt of lightning.

Luckily, Roxy managed to break right before hitting the ground, though she did manage to land to a pile of leaves. "Oof!"

A laugh bellowed out from above her. “It’s good to see you’re having fun. I worried that you would just end up complaining all night because of the cold. Maybe I could arrange for more leaf piles where we live.” Rose gently stepped down off her broom and swept it up, so it was bristle side up. 

“Nah, don’t go to all that effort for me. Besides, have you ever known me to complain?” Roxy stood up and brushed off some straggling leaves still hugging to her. She reached down, grabbed her pointed black hat covered in metal buttons, brushed it off and put it snuggly back on her head. “I would never!” 

Rose unpinned her brooch from her chest and pressed on it, transforming the cameo into a long black velvet hooded robe. Rose held it out. “Here. Take this. It’s dangerous to be cold.” 

Roxy smiled wryly and quickly grabbed it. “I see your reference.” She threw on the robe but kept the hood down. “Since we are being all familial and stuff, would you care for a fine hat of all

“No thank you!” Rose took out her beige wicker basket. 

“Ugh, we really gotta make a better bag. One that stores things in interdimensional space and could hold anything and everything. Just think, we’d make millions and bajillions!” Roxy gestured wildly. 

“And yet, you seem to have failed to make even a prototype.” Rose began walking down a small worn dirt path, although it was less path and more barely noticeable trail. She gazed down, searching for anything useful on their way. 

Roxy followed behind. “Aw, come on Rose. You know I need your help, what with interdimensions being closely connected to strange dark majyyks, that you’re so intimate with. How do you expect me, a most brilliant science-magic bullshit conjurer, to complete it without that?” Roxy kicked up some leaves. “Whoosh!” 

The forest was dark, which was mostly to be expected in the night of a new moon. The branches creaked overhead, some of them surely widowmakers. Rose and Roxy continued down the squiggling trail that hopped over logs and winded through fairy circles. Every now and then Rose would stoop down to pick some herb or flower or mushroom, although Roxy could not tell what they were especially for or if Rose just thought they looked pretty. Roxy for her part would try waving her new wooden wand to create light like Rose but it would never work. Sometimes the magic would just make the area darker. 

“Dammit! Rose are you sure my wand’s not busted?” Roxy presented it to Rose. 

Rose picked it up and gave it a wave. The wand instantly started glowing. “Could it be that even the most basic magic eludes you?” Rose said in mock horror before handing the wand back to an incredulous Roxy. 

“See, this is why science is better! Science just works for everyone, no magic preferences required!” She held it above her head for light to reach farther. “Whatever,” she mumbled. 

“Don’t worry about your extreme magic dysfunction, we’re almost to the spring.” 

And indeed they were. The spring glistened in the still darkness. Occasionally a frog would plunk through the water, leaving tiny ripple through the surface. 

“Ah yes. Here we have the famed mountain spring of Faustine de Chevalier Muse, famed for its subtle magical healing properties and pretentious people that drink it.” Rose put away her basket and took out two large glass jugs. She carefully dipped one in. 

Roxy scratched her scalp underneath her hat. “So, uh, remind me. Does it actually have any magical properties?” 

“Oh no, absolutely not. But we can charge more if we say we use it. So we have to come out here.” Rose looked Roxy in the eye. “Otherwise, we’d be liars and we can’t have that.” 

Roxy twirled the cape around. “Welp. Glad I came out here to discover the secret of the spring. I’ll tell all the customers, ‘Hey! Guess what!? Me and Rose are a bunch of charlatans and you guys are a bunch placebo believing losers! INCREDIBLE!’” Roxy stopped. “Hey did you need me to carry one of those?” 

“That would be quite helpful yes, especially because water is one of the heaviest things we are legally allowed to carry around. The heaviest illegal substance is, of course, miniature black holes; one billionth the size of a regular black hole but--” 

“--with all the strength and suckitude of a full sized. Yeah, yeah I know.” Roxy hefted one of the jugs and placed it on her shoulder. “Are you honestly still mad about that? I mean, I know the neighbors complained about the disappearance of their prize winning cow and seventy-five percent of their land but it was all an accident! I don’t know how many times I can apologize for the same thing!” Roxy waited for Rose to finish filling up the second jug. “Do you need me to carry that too?” 

Rose raised her eyebrows. “You know, you could just put it in your sylladex like a normal human being.” 

“What and miss out on getting some strong guns?” Roxy picked up and balanced the second jug on her left shoulder. “I can’t afford to lose to Jane in arm wrestling again! Then she’ll just rub it in my face, again, about how the sniper can’t even put on a good gun show. And that would be awful.” Rose rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “I’m sure it would. Yes, why carry objects like a normal person or even use magic? That would be cheating.” Rose led the way back down the trail. 

“Exactly! I’m glad you see it my way.” Roxy carefully stepped around branches and logs and mushrooms and any creepy probably cursed animal bones on their way back to the clearing. “I can’t wait to see Frigglish again.” 

“You mean Jaspers, I presume?” said Rose. 

“No, see, he is clearly a Frigglish. I mean, look at him. Come on!” 

“Sure, sure.” Rose took out her broom. “Do you need any… assistance there?” 

Roxy held the two jugs on her shoulder still. “Maybe.. a little.” 

"You could put the jugs away.” 

“I could.” 

Rose sighed. “Do you really want to fly with no hands?” 

“Why not? I do it all the time! It makes me feel… EXTREME!” 

“Your funeral.” Rose shrugged and dropped her broom under Roxy and took out her spare. Rose put it between her legs, kicked off from the ground and began flying away. 

Roxy put one jug of water down, grabbed Rose’s broom, squeezed her legs around it, picked the jug back off the ground, and kicked off.


End file.
